Category: success

The Artist’s Drip | building a creative empire & life

Published on by Suzanne BeenackersLeave a comment

I have said it countless times already, and with many more waiting ahead:

“If writer’s block came in a bottle, I’d pay for that.
A lot.”

And the reason is very simple;
Because creativity is really the last thing you need building a business.

Consistency.
Connection.
Showing up.
Being visible.
Having a plan.
Being resilient.
Being smart, and I mean the intelligent kind of smart, not the Productivity Is My Religion kind of smart where the letters stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely goalsetting.

Something that will appeal to few people who call themselves creatives. My guess is each and every one of us would rather burn our whole body of work to the ground, and pick up a job in the weapon industry, than to start setting “smart” goals.
Unless of course setting smart goals and monitoring data is your actual creative expression!
Then this is your art, and you should totally own that.
But I doubt if you do “smarting” with all your heart, it is still the optimization tool others claim it to be.

Your smart has become art.

And it may have you crying out to the heavens that if the ability to NOT look at numbers and to not invest every waking minute monitoring your numbers, you would pay for that.
A lot.
Just like I did with my writer’s block.

So I think all these extra free bonus sentences, clogging up the rhythm of this “info-piece”, is already a great example of how the creative mind (in this case mine) is different to the productive, goal driven mind.

If we had asked AI to write this piece it would probably have done a great job at writing a coherent, easy to read, concise piece.
That you would have read in its entirety, whereas I’m guessing 30% of readers will have stopped by now (so congratulations if you’re still here!) or is browsing, skipping, to the actual model of the creative drip.

And that’s great too.

You know why it is great you are currently sighing and struggling your way through this post?
Wondering why the f I cannot just come to the point?

Because that, is your problem too.

Your creativity expresses, expands, grows, flows, creates just for the sheer joy of it.
Not for the job, of it.
It has no sense of time, and it doesn’t even have a sense of purpose other than this desire to feel the rush of being into the realms of knowing you’re doing your highest work.

The joy of being lifted out of your daily grind to new heights and never explored worlds.

But it are these (daily?) trips to Lalaland, that make it so hard to navigate the capitalist waters while also being a secret frequent flyer of the realms most people will never go.

For the sake of this piece, I will limit my focus to those overwhelmed by a desire to create something which we all recognize at creativity.
Writing, painting, designing, and so on.

But in truth, the areas of creative expression are infinite such as activism, curating someone else’s work (for example in Bon Jovi fandom we have multiple fans who do this work), and so on.
If you are interested in this, I can highly recommend doing the Creative Constellations course from Sara Saltee:
https://www.salteeacademy.com/liveprograms
If you’re reading this in real time, you can still join for the course starting September 2024, and learn your own creative chart this fall. 
(link not sponsored)

So the flow captivating us and transporting us to higher realms, is definitely not limited to activities that result in “art”, in the narrow sense.

And it is THIS flow where whatever it is that you do, pulls you in and doesn’t let go, that is YOUR art (whatever it is) and that is the TOP layer of your Artist’s Drip.

Imagine a coffee drip.

Everything that goes on top, drips down to the bottom.

Your purest, most natural, most irresistible expression, is the thing you are pouring on top.
So it’s not wasted at all.
It’s just that because it is so natural to us as boiling hot water to everyone who owns a kettle, we fail to see how this is a suburb resource, and essential in order to get a working coffee drip!

we’ll call this top level Self-Expression
it’s where you do whatever creative expression comes naturally to you

Then we get to the second level where we do everything that relates to money and building a business.
Here we work what we have already poured in under one, package it up, write a sales page for it.
Here we make your work user-friendly, provide context and so on.
We give it whatever it needs, or we take from it whatever we can use for our commercial endeavors.

Here you may also find activities that you wouldn’t normally do, or that are not part of your core creative expression, but that you know connect you to your buying audience.
All content creation falls under this category, and this is why you see why it is a drip-> all content created as your primary creative expression automatically drips down to the second level.

we’ll call this second level Business
it’s where you do whatever is needed to build your audience and sales

Then we move down to the third level, and this is where your belonging and connection comes in.
It doesn’t have anything to do with your commercial or artistic success, and is about being loved and appreciated by your family, friends, partner, lovers, colleagues, neighbors and so on.

The reason it is low in the filter or drip, is because it doesn’t go back up. It doesn’t feed into those top to layers, but the top layers do trickle down here.
If you have 1 and 2 in place, you will find yourself having an easier “job” maintaining your personal relationships, than if you haven’t found your voice (layer 1) and are struggling with the business side of things.

But you will find your time spent on this layer to trickle down directly, building your LIFE (the cup of coffee)
Some relationships at the layer of connection will come straight from your highest work (level 1) or be clients as well (level 2), but many will be unrelated to your work under 1 and 2.

we’ll call this third level Connection
it’s where you maintain relationships with everyone who is important to you

And then there is a fourth level.
And I have no idea if everyone will want this, but I am definitely including it, because if you do want it;
This one, needs its own focus, plan, budget and so on.

Do you want your work to be preserved?
Live on after you die?
Then you need to start planning for this.

If you want only the work itself to be preserved, you can look for ways to sell it or give it to archives or museums.
But if you want the work to remain active/current, and its message to go on, then you need business models that can stay up after you retire or die.
Ones that generate enough money to pay for a curator or commercial director, whose work it will be to helm your work.
Or you can sell the rights to your work off for a high enough price, so that the new owner has an interest in monetizing them.
It is the potential of your work to keep making money, which will ensure its  place in the spotlight.

we’ll call this final level Legacy
it’s where you do what is necessary for your work to outlive you 

Knowing these four levels, Self-Expression (1), Business (2), Connection (3) and Legacy (4) does not solve their conflict over resources.
Something you will frequently be facing.

But it makes it easier to surrender to the task at hand, whether that is giving into your passion (level 1), something that will ultimately drip down, directly contributing to all other levels and is the core ingredient to your delicious cup of Life Coffee!

Or whether it is diligently setting time aside to publish your collected work, a book that will stay in print forever, level 4 (your legacy).

Whether it is showing up every day to sell what you have and run your business (level 2), or making it a daily habit to answer messages from family and friends and be there for your loved ones (level 3).

The four levels of The Artist’s Drip cannot just help you stay afloat in the challenging waters of living authentically in a consumer driven world;

It can help you raise the sails and set course to the harbors that you actually, and deeply, care about. 

.
Suzanne L. Beenackers
20th century writer, diarist & yoga teacher
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a case for sexual freedom from an amateur | + Rock Star Business preview (from a professional)

Published on by Suzanne BeenackersLeave a comment
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detective: Are you a pro? Catherine: No, I’m an amateur. [Basic Instinct, video bottom of this post]

Within 24 hours I was invited to talk about sexual freedom, and also saw an opportunity to support someone who believes in sexual freedom and who was going through a hard time.
I noticed how I took up on the second, to give support but in private, and passed on the public one. I wondered why.
Why did I not speak up for something I believe in?
If you would ask me what my deepest value is, I would have answered in a heartbeat;
Sexual freedom.

And not just was I passing on the opportunity to speak up for it publicly this one time – to promote a book The Little Mistress Who Turned Into A Baby Koala
which I had labeled under polyamory, because I figured that was the best fit-
No, I was actually, and conscientiously, making a principle choice to never speak in favor of sexual freedom of any kind ever again.
Yet when I reached out and supported someone in private half a day later, it left me wondering:
Why?

Declining had felt aligned with my purpose, the unique thing only I can do.
That work is to teach Bon Jovi Yoga, in short.
And the elaborate description is that my purpose is to guide within a system, Rock Star Yoga, that will develop itself in upcoming years, 
Rock Star Yoga is the bigger picture, and less copyright infringed, version of Bon Jovi yoga.
Given this choice, it made sense I had decided to not speak on a subject that would divert from it.
I would never speak on the subject of sexual liberation, equality and diversity from this day forth.

Yet when I supported someone in private shortly after, and heard how passionate my words were, I wondered why was I keeping those words from the world?
Why was I not offering that statement in favor of sexuality, to everybody who needed support, and share it in a way so people could see it?

Because I did not feel it had been out of some concern that standing up would conflict with teaching Bon Jovi yoga. Quit the contrary!
I felt the two were related. 
But how?

Why had I both declined the invitation to speak publicly about sexual freedom, and supported in private, with an understanding that both choices were in full alignment not just with each other, but with the work I had decided to go public with as well?
How was that possible?

And suddenly I saw the light!
Through another area of expertise I feel very vocal about, even though it has nothing to do with yoga, nor with Bon Jovi, nor with sexual freedom (at first glance!), which is making money as an independent.

I do not say “as an entrepreneur”, because just like Rock Star Yoga is a system that is still developing itself, my “business model” too, the angle that I am going to take on this, does not have its feet under the table either. Let alone that I would narrow it down to being an entrepreneurial model.
That’s why I chose the word independent.

Since my last video for my business channel, this new business model is taking shape in my mind.
I know a lot more than I did then, but it’s not complete and I have not written nor spoke about it.
Which I will now, for the first time.

The new business model I am working on, and that I will start using myself as well as advocating it through the business channel to other service providers, entertainers and artists, is the Rock Star Business model.

Although I personally only encountered the following, old, business wisdom recently, since McDonalds invented franchising there has been a book available how to upgrade a business for the consumer market.
It moves you from doing, exercising a certain skill set (baking hamburgers and french fries), to creating a systemized business and a standardized client experience.
I know the words sound boring, yet this way of doing business does not just increase the value of what you are doing, because the customer now knows what to expect and you get a chance to specialize and keep improving on it, but it also minimizes stressful fall-outs and the daily hiccups of just winging it.
Standardization is as essential to the customer’s well-being as it is to yours.
It is sanity in the midst of chaos.

If they had taught us this book The E Myth at university (which they didn’t), or if they would have taught its principles on one of my two yoga teacher trainings (which they also didn’t) I would probably still have a regular yoga business.
Possibly even despite the pandemic.
Offering a standardized, meaning predictable high quality, experience turns your clients into fans. It has the potential to tighten a commercial relationship as close as family ones.
Perhaps even strong enough to sustain 20 months of Zoom connections.

So even without my new Rock Star Business – model, which will be developed in conjunction with my second yoga career, I could have made the first career so much better if I had read this book:

The E-Myth Revisited:
Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It
Michael E. Gerber 2004, original 1986

The customer reviews under this book on Amazon, will give you an indication of whether or not it’s for you. Although I agree with the criticism on this book, and I also see why it’s not scientific enough to teach at university, it was eye opening for me to read.
Maybe not despite the lengthy, colloquial stories about building a business from passion;
But because of it.

If you want to build or rebuild your service based business, (owning a cafe, a barber shop, a yoga studio), basically any business where you are in control of the whole process from client intake to getting paid, this book will completely transform the way you think about your business.

Its biggest perks are increasing customer value and limiting your stress and making it more manageable, but the big fish is that standardization, when done based on a vision, a philosophy of what your company stands for, leads to business systems which then start doing the work for you.
It makes your presence in the business optional, not mandatory.
You can now afford to take time off if you want to or when you need to, and you can sell the business too.

So I say, regardless of its perceived flaws and the book not being the perfect fit for everybody;
Hooray for The E Myth! 
And I will share with you a private YouTube video to the audio book version so you can start studying this book that would have saved my first yoga career if I had known it.
And I will learn from it for setting up my second career in yoga, as an independent, as well as use elements in the Rock Star Business system.

But the reason I m not bitter over the fact that I did not know The E Myth, and that my first yoga career eventually did come apart at the seams, is because this system has its limitations.
Just like the yoga I taught had its limitations.

Having it fall down has given me this chance to rebuild them both, as a unique system I create myself. And not yoga or a small business, in the more standard way I did them.

I will never sign up for the full entrepreneur package, when I need just a few elements. In 2020-2021 it were small businesses, who had to execute Covid regulations set by Dutch government. Instead of confronting citizens directly, the government, meaning politicians, chose to put small business owners in the role of policing their own customers.
And this is on top of regulations about when you had to close, how many people you had inside, and so on. It was easier to mandate business, than to individually try to control citizens.
And this is on a system that was already unfairly straining for small businesses, and easy on the larger corporations.
Small business climate in the Netherlands is so top heavy in administrative and legal load, that you have to ask yourself if you can even afford to have a business here.

The second time around I will be incredibly picky in weighing the pros and cons of every choice I make in business. 
Doing something (the actual work) should be a Hell Yes to begin with, but the legal side of it will be weighed more carefully.
Will the increase in possibilities, impact, and income outweigh the extra mental bandwidth, the liabilities, the hours spent on taking care of the administrative trail?

One of the reasons I ve often found myself making a case for sex work (one sex worker called me “sex work positive”, which I think must have been the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me) is because being an independent escort is in my opinion the highest level of being an independent service provider.
All service providers have got to do their own marketing, their own taxes, have a target market or a concept of who their ideal clients are, but independent escorts have to manage (and sometimes juggle) so many other factors such as safety and legal matters since most countries including the Netherlands, make it practically impossible to do your work without being burned at the stake.
And the actual work itself is also more complex, in terms of social skills, and knowing the basics or more of psychology and medicine.
I cannot think of a line of work where the professional has to be so professional, as when you are an independent escort.

As is abundantly clear from the last paragraph, sexual freedom and that includes the emancipation and normalization of sex work, is a topic I am passionate about. 
And yet, a chance to stand up and speak up for it?
I would pass.

An important note:
I think that no one should speak about sex workers, without a very good reason why that spot should not be taken by someone who actually does sex work.
Talk with sex workers about sex work. Period. 
It’s like if someone would ask me to talk about Bon Jovi, then I would only do that from the perspective of being a fan. Not an expert.
It is in those same terms you must see me wondering why I would decline having a public conversation about sex work.
Or why I would be clear on my motives for being there.
Regardless of the topic, I would be hesitant to take up a chair if there is a better fit, in particular if it’s a group often talked about.

However the offer I got this week, to stand up for freedom of sexuality, was not on sex work but on polyamory.
But if it had been about sex work it would have taken me even less time to see how it did not fit my agenda of setting up my second career, this time teaching Rock Star Yoga.
I would have said No.

I would have seen all the good I could do, and even would want to do, I would understand the necessity of speaking about it, and yet?
I would still pass…..
And now I know why.

I even know why not a day goes by without me thinking about marketing, business, and entrepreneurship.
As well as why I keep coming back to yoga over and over and over again, no matter how often I toss it in the bin of things that have become completely unusable because there is simply too much women-, body- and sex oppressing toxicity attached to it.

Because it goes all together. It ALL goes together! 
The sexual freedom I refuse to stand up for, even though it is my absolute highest value over all the others?
It becomes very difficult without the other two: Financial freedom and bodily freedom.

Financial freedom is needed because if your choices have financial consequences it is very hard to see what you really desire, and very easy to talk yourself into desiring what keeps you financially safe.
I believe the biggest amalgamating force of monogamy is because most couples simply cannot afford to be non-monogamous.
There is scarcity of time, money, resources (housing, in particular in the Netherlands), which means that most couples need each other, or that people need other people, in order to make ends meet.
The reason I m so passionate about thinking about new and better business models that are agile, and do not burden you the way small businesses in The Netherlands are, and also the reason I am so passionate about it! An at first sight dry topic as business development!- that reason is because let’s say the easy way, the most friendly way (for all those involved) to think about sexual freedom, is by first being financially free.
By first ensuring that your income stream is portable to wherever it is you end up, once you start giving yourself more space to move and more directions to explore.
And that how much money you make is enough to sustain you as a single.

Financial freedom as an individual, not a couple, gives you the luxury of being in the conversation with, and thinking about, sexual freedom without consequence. 
If you aspire to be sexually free, you should aspire to be financially free.
And if you want to be in this conversation with your partner, then your prime efforts should be in efforts to make you both financially independent.

If you want your loved ones to be free in choosing their sexuality; Support them in creating a business that does not conflict with personal growth and sexuality, but supports it.
Or, alternatively, encourage them to build a business like the E Myth books teaches, so they can sell it if they move on in life. 
But I think this article has kind of surpassed the point where we’re going to settle for a business we want to sell, wouldn’t you agree?

This insight was huge for me.
I now saw how my nothing-to-do-with-yoga-nor-Bon-Jovi eternal fascination with business and marketing, had actually been, and still was, a life-long devotion to, and understanding of, how financial freedom is the easiest road to personal and sexual freedom.
Tommy and Gina, from the song Living On A Prayer, were very lucky to have each other, but they also deserved to be financially independent and free.
Showing up for each other should have been a choice and not a necessity.

It became clear to me, that although the story of Living On A Prayer is beautiful in its display of true love, and a for all we know powerful monogamous relationship;
That I always, instinctively, refused to interpret it as romanticizing poverty.
I had wanted Tommy and Gina to be financially independent. It was why I was always studying personal growth, mindset, business and marketing.
It had little to do with big corporate things I learned at uni.
This was personal.

And now I could also see where yoga fit in.
It had been more than just wanting to teach it to Bon Jovi fans, a group generally not addressed by, nor attracted to, normal yoga.
Yes, Rock Star Yoga was indeed more than the fact that we’d make a cool bunch, more than the fact we speak each others language (we all speak Bon Jovi!) and that I look forward to the future where we can have post-Covid live classes, doing yoga to the beat of Richie Sambora’s talkbox.

Where my interest in business had the deeper lying motive to create more financial freedom for industries and for people who are traditionally excluded from wealth, or where only a few make it;
My interest in yoga and the reason I keep coming back to it, regardless of how many times I think I ve given up on it and let patriarchy have it and keep it;
Yoga was, and is, about freedom of the body. 

So the reason I do not show up to make my heartfelt case for freedom of sexuality, is because I put first things first.
Financial freedom, with Rock Star Business, which I will soon introduce on my business channel.
And freedom of the body, which I will pick up teaching Bon Jovi Yoga on my Dutch and English YouTube channels.
Those two precede sexual freedom.
Those two, financial freedom and the freedom of the body, give you a gentle, friendly path to walk towards your sexual freedom, even inspiring others to create freedom. 
Sexual freedom is for everyone and (not but) it is easier if you have a joyous, free relationship with your finances as well as your body.

The past two weeks have been stressful because I had many technical malfunctionings. All for the better, because this is my first post typing with a modern computer, the latest software, spiffy backup systems that were absolutely “about time” for anyone looking to set up a career from home.
And I have an internet connection faster than the speed of light.
But as is the case with these hiccups, leading to serious problems, and to things needing to be replaced;
It is seldom a clear cut path, and it was indeed stressful.

But at the same time I thank these weeks where all my available time went to solving problems, which often felt like doing nothing because more often than not I could not do anything-
I credit those weeks for this big picture vision I shared with you today.

I will be your professional for doing Rock Star Yoga and for creating a Rock Star Business.

And with regard to Rock Star Sex, I will be with you in spirit.
As an amateur.

 

Suzanne L. Beenackers
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Loneliness: Mighty Foe. Powerful Ally.

Published on by Suzanne BeenackersLeave a comment
Like many people who live alone, I wake up every moment thinking this must be all a bad dream. That the Will Smith I am Legend feel of my entire existence, where I roam with a German Shepherd by my side in a ruined city that has been taken over by nature, desperate for a sign of life from others, is all a big mistake. And in a sense, yes; It is different. Because if I am willing to live by the Corona regulations, and lower my expectations of how much fun we’re going to have, and the amazing things we’re going to do, spontaneously; And if I am not intimidated by the fact that if the person I see tests positive within the upcoming ten days; I am requested to stay home, get tested, turn my agenda upside down and report everybody I have been into contact with? Well, then yes! Then my current situation IS entirely different to living alone in a world that has been destroyed by a virus to which I am immune. Aside from a few friends and my family, I don’t see anybody. I haven’t done any group things, not even when it was allowed. And from the three times I went to the movies, when the theaters were still open, I felt completely apocalyptic the first time, being in an almost empty theater. One movie I walked out of because it was too violent, even more so given all the things I had to conquer or risked by even being there. And the movie I successfully watched consisted entirely of cat videos. In the summer many people I knew went on holidays. But aside from the fact that I would never share a hotel room with someone now, the thought going on holiday would also mean I would then have to leave my address with every restaurant three meals a day, made my stomach turn. After I got home, it would take ten days before I could no longer be called by health services, sentencing me to quarantine.  The Netherlands are excited that the loosening of the measures seems inevitable. We will be able to sit at terraces, and go to the cinema and on holidays soon. But I don’t think much will change for me.  As long as the test and trace policy is in place, and it also applies to those who have been vaccinated (which I will), nothing will change for me personally. I will still be freaked out by the threat of 10 days of isolation. The price is just too high. Yes I like going to the movies. Yes I like doing things in groups. Yes I like coming over for dinner or going out to dinner. But if the price tag is having a pending threat of isolation, I m not going to do it. I’d rather wake up every morning for the rest of my life feeling like Will Smith in I Am Legend, than to pick up my social life under the current circumstances. “A loneliness so thick you could make slices of it.” “Post-apocalyptic.” “I am Legend.” Still in bed I try to find words to describe it, to get a sense of control.  And sometimes I feel the loneliness has taken over my body while I was asleep. Like a parasite. And it immobilizes me. I have no idea how to take it out, even though obviously it does disappear enough to get up. I have not spend a day in bed because of mental health reasons. Not counting the days I had migraines, which I have had six times since Covid began, and none prior to that. Migraine is when the demon has won. Usually on day two or three after a normal, relaxed social activity. A “normal relaxed” social activity that I could still end up in Covid test, trace and isolation hell house for that is. To me social life has become like one of those American haunted attractions, from Steven King novels or the movie Us.  I can already hear the eerie carnival tune. Every moment I wake up I wonder how long I can keep this up. How long before I lose my sanity. How long before I break. Am I even alive?  Because I am clearly, obviously, for the past 12 months and counting, not living!  When do you become undead, like the zombies also present in the movie I am Legend? Or like the ring lords, the Nazgul, in Lord of The Rings. When does the loneliness virus turn you into a creature neither living nor dead? And then I saw that the city where I live, is documenting testimonies about what loneliness does to us, and I knew this was my call. I had so much to say about loneliness. Like any lonely person I would be able to talk about it for hours. And yet; That was precisely why I didn’t want to talk about it. The thought that the interaction I had with the outside world would contain any reference to the challenges of living alone, with my social phobias as I usually call them, was simply unacceptable. I would never break. I would never give this demon the honor of even being mentioned in conversations. He would not be written about, he would not be talked about. He could infest my body and my mind, and take my life from the inside out; But he would never be known to the outside world. I know my purpose, my work, who I am and what my values are. And Covid or no Covid; There is no scenario where I am ever going to give power to loneliness by talking about it in a way that doesn’t directly contribute to my work, is in line with my values and so on. I don’t care how often I have to wake up in fetal position in the bathtub, holding on to my gun, the way Will Smith’s character does in I Am Legend.  So I had already made my decision I wasn’t going to give this thing power over me, when I read this:

find the pain you can fall in love with for life and nothing can stop you

Katrina Ruth

And I knew I had found my answer. Because I CAN fall in love with loneliness.  It has been with me my whole life. I don’t just have an unnaturally high tolerance for it, I actually crave it. I need whole chunks of it, in order to function healthily. Even though I have made resolutions to never be home alone for even one more day for the rest of my life, after Covid; I know I will still need more alone time than others. In the 80s a similar situation existed when I developed what I can now see was a social phobia. AIDS was part of our sex lives and in my case also part of my sexual education because I was so young. I ended up totally freaked out by the fear of contracting AIDS but ultimately (in hindsight) I can see it was fear of being expelled from society if I caught it. It was fear of being rejected for my sexuality. It cost me 20+ years to get rid of it. The first 20 were dedicated to avoiding situations that were either physically risky or, more importantly, socially risky. I felt if I would get it from the dentist through dirty needles I would not be socially expelled. But if I got it from sex with a man who was not my boyfriend, even if I had used condoms, that I would be. And after the first 20 years of avoidance, I overcame it. I accepted the risk of being expelled for my sexuality. I accepted the risk of being alone. Fear of loneliness stands for fear of rejection, fear of death, fear of being laughed at, fear of social exclusion. That’s why it’s hitting us so hard. That’s why we wake up every morning like Will Smith in I Am Legend. But it’s also why social situations, where both the Covid virus but even more so Covid etiquette can jump out like a Jack-in-the-box,  have the unpredictability of a haunted maze at the carnaval. Covid brings us socially in a catch 22: Loneliness. Or the horror maze. And it has been that way for over a year. And some people choose the maze!  They go headfirst into the madness and will just see where that leads them.  They seem to be without fear, because they have decided they are not going to let Covid stand in their way. Just like I refuse to give attention to the loneliness, they refuse to give attention to all the social forces pulling at them from different sides. Shrieking at them, from the darkness. They just keep pushing forward. But it really doesn’t matter which pain you choose: The pain of loneliness, I Am Legend. Or the mayhem of the haunted house of Us or novels from Steven King. Because once you’ve fallen in love with one pain? You can bear them all. Suzanne L. Beenackers s_beenackers@hotmail.com Paypalme You can subscribe to the Wold Between Worlds and receive new posts in your Inbox. The button is on this page, probably somewhere on the right. my personal Twitter account Also by me: Rock Star Writer Blog dedicated to Bon Jovi, sex, and rock n roll. And Rock Star Writer on Facebook & my rock star writer YouTube Liefdeseend en vintage yoga (Nederlands/ Dutch) beertje Puux op Facebook (Nederlands/ Dutch)

To every business; We ARE dying to throw our credit cards at ya!

Published on by Suzanne BeenackersLeave a comment

Entire point explained in one video: YOU are the show! The fans, YOUR fans, are appreciating you, whatever it is you think you are selling. And yet you might be there beating yourself up for all that went wrong, or why what you re selling wasn’t or isn’t good enough.

Audience at Bon Jovi, Ahoy, Rotterdam, Netherlands, 21st November 1988. (photo Niels van Iperen – click image for more + source)

What if I told you we’re all in the same business?
All of us. From the king to the gardeners. Even people who are dependent on an allowance/ welfare are in this business.
Because if they fail to do this, be “in” this business, even though they should still get their money and everybody in theory thinks it should be regardless of who you are because it’s a human right;
Even though all of those things?

If they fail to be “in” this business?
They’ll lose that right.

Everyone who has ever been treated unfairly, or who has ever suffered bad service in a restaurant, or who feels they’re under some kind of social threat all of the time?
It’s because they have failed or are resisting, to do this work and do it seriously each and every time they come into contact with another human being. *

[* for a lot of people, society is highly unfair and makes it practically impossible to get by without knowing this skill. This is why, in my opinion, learning the skill from this article, should be priority skill number one for economic equality ]

We’re all in the same business. But because of that, we have started diversifying based on the aspects of our lives (usually calling them “jobs”) that are not the same.
Because if (or “since”) we’re all in the same business, how else would we identify but by pretending that the second characteristic of what it is we do or are, the second key factor that determines how successful we are or what our identity is as perceived by others;
What else can we do than to pretend that secondary thing about what it is we do, is the primary one? 

This article is too short to go too deeply into that, and how there are also communities that identify based on what family/ tribe you belong to, or what special interest you have, but the most important takeaway from this piece is this:
We really ARE in the same business.
The people business.

And we all do the same work:
The work of making people feel good.

Even people who play with money as a way to make money, are ultimately in the people business.
Although money definitely buys you a ton of hall cards not to have to do this work; At the end of the day, even Mark Zuckerberg, even the bitcoin trader, have to do it.

At the end of every line there is a person you have to please to get to the next level (if you’re privileged), or to get your money (if you’re dependent).

Now don’t get depressed, because all of this is actually super good news and it will make your life very easy and make you a lot of money, the throwing credit cards at you from the title is real.
But allow me to harp on for just a sec.

So with all of us being in the making-people-feel-good business, the only thing that differs between jobs and between lives, are things like:

difference: How many people you encounter and therefor how often you have to do this work.

In general the higher paying your job is, the fewer times you “have to” do this work, but also the fewer the times you can do this work.
Which can lead to a feeling of loneliness and meaninglessness.
Even superstars, who know they make people happy from afar, can suffer from the lack of direct human connection. In particular if their line of work (f.e. a movie star) doesn’t have a component of direct connection.

difference: The extend to which this work is explicit or hidden

In the entertainment industry, the work of making people feel good, is explicit.
In medicine it is hidden (but good luck getting a patient healthy with a specialist without social skills)

difference: The type of job or relationship this work piggy-backs on.

For employees making their boss and their colleagues feel appreciated, is implicit.

But for a small business or independent service provider, and now we get to the point where people will want to pay you;
Because for a small business or independent service provider this work is literally
THE ONLY WORK THEY EVER HAVE TO DO

There. I said it.

I don’t care if you are an independent physiotherapist, or an art painter, or if you sell glutenfree cookies;
Your ONLY work?
Is to make people feel good.

I know so many people who have amazing things to sell, so the product does actually contribute to the overall value;
And who also have such great client relationships, people would give good money to be in their presence and call them a business partner, or their teacher, or service provider. And if they could buy physical things, for example takeaway food or drinks!, it is even better because the physical products have a comforting “cloak” of normalcy.

Yet these entrepreneurs or independents, are not aware their social skills are offering a magnetic power, and also not (if you get uncomfortable being in the spotlight) they miss the deep craving their clients have for human connection.

People are waiting to be invited as a paying client, or to step up the relationship you have with them, but they can’t if you don’t offer it. 

They can’t create this whole relationship by themselves.
YOU are the provider, the supplyer, the professional;
You have to lead the way.

What products will sell?
What does the market want?
How are we going to survive the Covid crisis? 
Stop thinking like that!
No one can connect with you or pay you, if you stay in your own head.

I’m not going to elaborate on that, because I m already way over the “serious shit people do not want to read about” quota. Which, by the way, is a direct violation to making people feel good!

Don’t talk serious shit people don’t want to hear about if you want people to feel good, hence, pay you!

And if you do;
Cushion it, compensate, make up for it. 
For example by delivering something that will make them millions.
Which is what I am going to do right now.

Because;
What if, today, right at this moment, you decided that whatever it is you thought was making you money, is not actually what is making you money;
And focused SOLELY on making people feel good.

Connecting, smiling, taking an interest, being human.

Showing yourself the way Jon Bon Jovi showed himself on that stage 21 November 1988, as I illustrated with the picture.

The YouTube video I used at the top of this blogpost is from a documentary about Bon Jovi, Access All Areas. The opening scene is shot early November 1988, three weeks before they were in the Netherlands.
It was a show in Dublin.

It switches between shots taken in the dressing room right after the show. With cursing band members, because as Jon later recalls in an interview,
“Everything that could did go wrong.”
And shots that were taken outside, right after the same show.
With fans raving about how good it was, and what an absolutely amazing experience they had.

The fans were on a total high, and the show had delivered to them a brilliant experience. 
It was worth every penny.

So you see?
Even Jon Bon Jovi in 1988 did not know what he no doubt learned very shortly after.
That it’s not about what you sell. 
It’s about how you make people feel.

We’re all in the same business:
The business of making people feel good.

Now go rock that!

.

Suzanne L. Beenackers

Want my help?
Mail me at: s_beenackers@hotmail.com

And I don’t take credit cards, but you can throw your payment here!
Paypalme

You can subscribe to the Wold Between Worlds and receive new messages in your Inbox.
The button is on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

my personal Twitter account

Also by me:

Rock Star Writer
Blog dedicated to Bon Jovi, sex, and rock n roll.
And Rock Star Writer on Facebook
& my rock star writer YouTube

Liefdeseend en vintage yoga (Nederlands/ Dutch)

beertje Puux op Facebook (Nederlands/ Dutch)