a case for sexual freedom from an amateur | + Rock Star Business preview (from a professional)

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detective: Are you a pro? Catherine: No, I’m an amateur. [Basic Instinct, video bottom of this post]

Within 24 hours I was invited to talk about sexual freedom, and also saw an opportunity to support someone who believes in sexual freedom and who was going through a hard time.
I noticed how I took up on the second, to give support but in private, and passed on the public one. I wondered why.
Why did I not speak up for something I believe in?
If you would ask me what my deepest value is, I would have answered in a heartbeat;
Sexual freedom.

And not just was I passing on the opportunity to speak up for it publicly this one time – to promote a book The Little Mistress Who Turned Into A Baby Koala
which I had labeled under polyamory, because I figured that was the best fit-
No, I was actually, and conscientiously, making a principle choice to never speak in favor of sexual freedom of any kind ever again.
Yet when I reached out and supported someone in private half a day later, it left me wondering:
Why?

Declining had felt aligned with my purpose, the unique thing only I can do.
That work is to teach Bon Jovi Yoga, in short.
And the elaborate description is that my purpose is to guide within a system, Rock Star Yoga, that will develop itself in upcoming years, 
Rock Star Yoga is the bigger picture, and less copyright infringed, version of Bon Jovi yoga.
Given this choice, it made sense I had decided to not speak on a subject that would divert from it.
I would never speak on the subject of sexual liberation, equality and diversity from this day forth.

Yet when I supported someone in private shortly after, and heard how passionate my words were, I wondered why was I keeping those words from the world?
Why was I not offering that statement in favor of sexuality, to everybody who needed support, and share it in a way so people could see it?

Because I did not feel it had been out of some concern that standing up would conflict with teaching Bon Jovi yoga. Quit the contrary!
I felt the two were related. 
But how?

Why had I both declined the invitation to speak publicly about sexual freedom, and supported in private, with an understanding that both choices were in full alignment not just with each other, but with the work I had decided to go public with as well?
How was that possible?

And suddenly I saw the light!
Through another area of expertise I feel very vocal about, even though it has nothing to do with yoga, nor with Bon Jovi, nor with sexual freedom (at first glance!), which is making money as an independent.

I do not say “as an entrepreneur”, because just like Rock Star Yoga is a system that is still developing itself, my “business model” too, the angle that I am going to take on this, does not have its feet under the table either. Let alone that I would narrow it down to being an entrepreneurial model.
That’s why I chose the word independent.

Since my last video for my business channel, this new business model is taking shape in my mind.
I know a lot more than I did then, but it’s not complete and I have not written nor spoke about it.

Which I will now, for the first time.

The new business model I am working on, and that I will start using myself as well as advocating it through the business channel to other service providers, entertainers and artists, is the Rock Star Business model.

Although I personally only encountered the following, old, business wisdom recently, since McDonalds invented franchising there has been a book available how to upgrade a business for the consumer market.
It moves you from doing, exercising a certain skill set (baking hamburgers and french fries), to creating a systemized business and a standardized client experience.
I know the words sound boring, yet this way of doing business does not just increase the value of what you are doing, because the customer now knows what to expect and you get a chance to specialize and keep improving on it, but it also minimizes stressful fall-outs and the daily hiccups of just winging it.
Standardization is as essential to the customer’s well-being as it is to yours.

It is sanity in the midst of chaos.

If they had taught us this book The E Myth at university (which they didn’t), or if they would have taught its principles on one of my two yoga teacher trainings (which they also didn’t) I would probably still have a regular yoga business.
Possibly even despite the pandemic.
Offering a standardized, meaning predictable high quality, experience turns your clients into fans. It has the potential to tighten a commercial relationship as close as family ones.

Perhaps even strong enough to sustain 20 months of Zoom connections.

So even without my new Rock Star Business – model, which will be developed in conjunction with my second yoga career, I could have made the first career so much better if I had read this book:

The E-Myth Revisited:
Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It
Michael E. Gerber 2004, original 1986

The customer reviews under this book on Amazon, will give you an indication of whether or not it’s for you. Although I agree with the criticism on this book, and I also see why it’s not scientific enough to teach at university, it was eye opening for me to read.
Maybe not despite the lengthy, colloquial stories about building a business from passion;
But because of it.

If you want to build or rebuild your service based business, (owning a cafe, a barber shop, a yoga studio), basically any business where you are in control of the whole process from client intake to getting paid, this book will completely transform the way you think about your business.

Its biggest perks are increasing customer value and limiting your stress and making it more manageable, but the big fish is that standardization, when done based on a vision, a philosophy of what your company stands for, leads to business systems which then start doing the work for you.
It makes your presence in the business optional, not mandatory.
You can now afford to take time off if you want to or when you need to, and you can sell the business too.

So I say, regardless of its perceived flaws and the book not being the perfect fit for everybody;
Hooray for The E Myth
And I will share with you a private YouTube video to the audio book version so you can start studying this book that would have saved my first yoga career if I had known it.
And I will learn from it for setting up my second career in yoga, as an independent, as well as use elements in the Rock Star Business system.

But the reason I m not bitter over the fact that I did not know The E Myth, and that my first yoga career eventually did come apart at the seams, is because this system has its limitations.
Just like the yoga I taught had its limitations.

Having it fall down has given me this chance to rebuild them both, as a unique system I create myself. And not yoga or a small business, in the more standard way I did them.

I will never sign up for the full entrepreneur package, when I need just a few elements. In 2020-2021 it were small businesses, who had to execute Covid regulations set by Dutch government. Instead of confronting citizens directly, the government, meaning politicians, chose to put small business owners in the role of policing their own customers.
And this is on top of regulations about when you had to close, how many people you had inside, and so on.
It was easier to mandate business, than to individually try to control citizens.
And this is on a system that was already unfairly straining for small businesses, and easy on the larger corporations.
Small business climate in the Netherlands is so top heavy in administrative and legal load, that you have to ask yourself if you can even afford to have a business here.

The second time around I will be incredibly picky in weighing the pros and cons of every choice I make in business. 
Doing something (the actual work) should be a Hell Yes to begin with, but the legal side of it will be weighed more carefully.
Will the increase in possibilities, impact, and income outweigh the extra mental bandwidth, the liabilities, the hours spent on taking care of the administrative trail?

One of the reasons I ve often found myself making a case for sex work (one sex worker called me “sex work positive”, which I think must have been the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me) is because being an independent escort is in my opinion the highest level of being an independent service provider.
All service providers have got to do their own marketing, their own taxes, have a target market or a concept of who their ideal clients are, but independent escorts have to manage (and sometimes juggle) so many other factors such as safety and legal matters since most countries including the Netherlands, make it practically impossible to do your work without being burned at the stake.
And the actual work itself is also more complex, in terms of social skills, and knowing the basics or more of psychology and medicine.
I cannot think of a line of work where the professional has to be so professional, as when you are an independent escort.

As is abundantly clear from the last paragraph, sexual freedom and that includes the emancipation and normalization of sex work, is a topic I am passionate about. 
And yet, a chance to stand up and speak up for it?
I would pass.

An important note:
I think that no one should speak about sex workers, without a very good reason why that spot should not be taken by someone who actually does sex work.
Talk with sex workers about sex work. Period. 
It’s like if someone would ask me to talk about Bon Jovi, then I would only do that from the perspective of being a fan. Not an expert.
It is in those same terms you must see me wondering why I would decline having a public conversation about sex work.
Or why I would be clear on my motives for being there.
Regardless of the topic, I would be hesitant to take up a chair if there is a better fit, in particular if it’s a group often talked about.

However the offer I got this week, to stand up for freedom of sexuality, was not on sex work but on polyamory.
But if it had been about sex work it would have taken me even less time to see how it did not fit my agenda of setting up my second career, this time teaching Rock Star Yoga.

I would have said No.

I would have seen all the good I could do, and even would want to do, I would understand the necessity of speaking about it, and yet?
I would still pass…..
And now I know why.

I even know why not a day goes by without me thinking about marketing, business, and entrepreneurship.
As well as why I keep coming back to yoga over and over and over again, no matter how often I toss it in the bin of things that have become completely unusable because there is simply too much women-, body- and sex oppressing toxicity attached to it.

Because it goes all together. It ALL goes together! 
The sexual freedom I refuse to stand up for, even though it is my absolute highest value over all the others?
It becomes very difficult without the other two: Financial freedom and bodily freedom.

Financial freedom is needed because if your choices have financial consequences it is very hard to see what you really desire, and very easy to talk yourself into desiring what keeps you financially safe.
I believe the biggest amalgamating force of monogamy is because most couples simply cannot afford to be non-monogamous.
There is scarcity of time, money, resources (housing, in particular in the Netherlands), which means that most couples need each other, or that people need other people, in order to make ends meet.
The reason I m so passionate about thinking about new and better business models that are agile, and do not burden you the way small businesses in The Netherlands are, and also the reason I am so passionate about it! An at first sight dry topic as business development!- that reason is because let’s say the easy way, the most friendly way (for all those involved) to think about sexual freedom, is by first being financially free.
By first ensuring that your income stream is portable to wherever it is you end up, once you start giving yourself more space to move and more directions to explore.
And that how much money you make is enough to sustain you as a single.

Financial freedom as an individual, not a couple, gives you the luxury of being in the conversation with, and thinking about, sexual freedom without consequence. 
If you aspire to be sexually free, you should aspire to be financially free.
And if you want to be in this conversation with your partner, then your prime efforts should be in efforts to make you both financially independent.

If you want your loved ones to be free in choosing their sexuality; Support them in creating a business that does not conflict with personal growth and sexuality, but supports it.
Or, alternatively, encourage them to build a business like the E Myth books teaches, so they can sell it if they move on in life. 

But I think this article has kind of surpassed the point where we’re going to settle for a business we want to sell, wouldn’t you agree?

This insight was huge for me.
I now saw how my nothing-to-do-with-yoga-nor-Bon-Jovi eternal fascination with business and marketing, had actually been, and still was, a life-long devotion to, and understanding of, how financial freedom is the easiest road to personal and sexual freedom.
Tommy and Gina, from the song Living On A Prayer, were very lucky to have each other, but they also deserved to be financially independent and free.
Showing up for each other should have been a choice and not a necessity.

It became clear to me, that although the story of Living On A Prayer is beautiful in its display of true love, and a for all we know powerful monogamous relationship;
That I always, instinctively, refused to interpret it as romanticizing poverty.
I had wanted Tommy and Gina to be financially independent. It was why I was always studying personal growth, mindset, business and marketing.

It had little to do with big corporate things I learned at uni.
This was personal.

And now I could also see where yoga fit in.
It had been more than just wanting to teach it to Bon Jovi fans, a group generally not addressed by, nor attracted to, normal yoga.

Yes, Rock Star Yoga was indeed more than the fact that we’d make a cool bunch, more than the fact we speak each others language (we all speak Bon Jovi!) and that I look forward to the future where we can have post-Covid live classes, doing yoga to the beat of Richie Sambora’s talkbox.

Where my interest in business had the deeper lying motive to create more financial freedom for industries and for people who are traditionally excluded from wealth, or where only a few make it;
My interest in yoga and the reason I keep coming back to it, regardless of how many times I think I ve given up on it and let patriarchy have it and keep it;

Yoga was, and is, about freedom of the body

So the reason I do not show up to make my heartfelt case for freedom of sexuality, is because I put first things first.
Financial freedom, with Rock Star Business, which I will soon introduce on my business channel.
And freedom of the body, which I will pick up teaching Bon Jovi Yoga on my Dutch and English YouTube channels.
Those two precede sexual freedom.
Those two, financial freedom and the freedom of the body, give you a gentle, friendly path to walk towards your sexual freedom, even inspiring others to create freedom. 
Sexual freedom is for everyone and (not but) it is easier if you have a joyous, free relationship with your finances as well as your body.

The past two weeks have been stressful because I had many technical malfunctionings. All for the better, because this is my first post typing with a modern computer, the latest software, spiffy backup systems that were absolutely “about time” for anyone looking to set up a career from home.
And I have an internet connection faster than the speed of light.
But as is the case with these hiccups, leading to serious problems, and to things needing to be replaced;
It is seldom a clear cut path, and it was indeed stressful.

But at the same time I thank these weeks where all my available time went to solving problems, which often felt like doing nothing because more often than not I could not do anything-
I credit those weeks for this big picture vision I shared with you today.

I will be your professional for doing Rock Star Yoga and for creating a Rock Star Business.

And with regard to Rock Star Sex, I will be with you in spirit.
As an amateur.

 

Suzanne L. Beenackers
Paypalme

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You can find my books The Little Mistress Who Turned Into A Baby Koala
and A Boyfriend Like Jon Bongiovi
at the bottom of this page:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/rockstarwriter

Also by me:
my personal Twitter account
Rock Star Writer
Rock Star Writer on Facebook
Art & Popular Culture: World Between Worlds (current site)
Yoga Blog: Daily Bon Jovi Yoga

Liefdeseend en vintage yoga (Nederlands/ Dutch)

beertje Puux op Facebook (Nederlands/ Dutch)

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